He is watching over me.

So far this year....I have been to the hospital 3 times. 2 of which I was sick and today....I got into a car wreck. Heading home from work to take a shower and get ready for a Halloween party. Driving over 316, just like any other day and I look to the right. Big suburban going 70 mph coming right at me. The big bang came, at the same time I stopped breathing. It was all slow motion, but fast at the same time. I prayed to god, that I wasn't going to die. I couldn't breath from the impact from the suburban.I saw that I had blood on my face and everywhere on me. People came rushing asking me if I was okay and I could not say a word. My leg was bruised and my whole body felt sore. A man came rushing and introduced himself. He used to be in the Navy and his name was Jason. I answered him finally when I came back to my senses. Had him call Alex before my phone died and left him a message saying,"Hey this is Jason, your fiance just got into a car accident."Then my phone died. The people that had hit me were asking me if I was okay and I just didn't respond. Ambulance came along with the fire truck. For some reason they kept on thinking my neck was injured and they put a brace around my neck.It was good that it was a convertible because it made there life easier to get me out of the car without having to move my back or my neck. So they strapped me in and took me away in the ambulance. The guys were really funny and kept on making me laugh....I couldn't believe that I was actually laughing and not crying. We got to the hospital and 10 min after we were there Alex showed up. I was so happy to see him and to know that I didn't die. I  wouldn't have my honey bear anymore. So he was being the best and I got x-rays,tetnis shot and glued one of my cuts together. My body hurts like crap though and my left leg is bruised up as well as my right arm with my deep cuts. You know what though I'm so thankful to be alive and I don't know why I keep having these bad weeks, but God is watching over me. I am so blessed to be here just watching a movie next to a man that loves me and even though it's a simple quiet night. I'm grateful to be alive to spend it with Alex. We also had a romantic time. While I was soaking in the tub, he played the guitar in the bathroom for me to make me smile. God thank you....

So wonderful....la,de,la,la...............Fuck!!!!

WHY!? Everything goes so great and then it crashes and burns to hell!!! Alex is completely lying to me! Pictures of me naked in his phone(I'm totally against that because we aren't married yet and he took a picture while I wasn't looking! >:( Then found cigarettes and found out that he's not only going to Greenville by himself,but his friend is also coming along which can't be a big deal, but why would he lie and just say him? WTF!!!! No wonder why I can't trust him, he lies about the silliest things and he won't be honest!!! It's ridiculous! Am I just getting payback because of the ridiculous things I would lie about in my past relationships? Like come on this is SO high school. Maybe I should start calling him an ex that he absolutely hates so he will realize how dumb this is! So maybe if he buys a pack of cigarettes then I could go buy clothes or jewelry? So that if he stops then I will. :) Haha or get the Tattoo that I want. If he smokes and knows that I dislike heavy smoking and lying then I will do the exact same. I'll get a Tattoo and lie and say,"No, I don't it's just a henna Tattoo." Seriously though I did want a tattoo, but he would never let me so I'm going to please myself just like him. haha!

Life is suppose to be a bitch because if it were a slut then it would be too easy.

Wow.
That's what I have to say.
I have been hanging out with the girls and getting closer to them(coworkers) especially since the wicked witch of the west came,we have been helping each other and having each other's backs. When Sarah was about to have her baby, We went to walmart to buy camo and then had a delarious night at the hospital, which we did for the next two days, but she finally had him on the third day. Then Toni and Emily decided to open there salon and wanted me to come. Of course I said yes,but kept it as a secret from the hair gallery. Even when the big fat ass went off on me, I acted mature and stayed calm. Tomorrow though I am quitting. I am moving on and going to the trinity salon. I am so happy and now finally Alex is supporting me. I'm going to have so much fun with them that i won't even think that it's work. As far as education and learning. I'am going to learn so much from Toni and Emily.this is a very exciting time of me and alex's life. Our career's are just breaking loose!!!!

The Word of the Wise to you.

I have been going backwards. Alex and I have been going backwards. Things feel as if they are okay, but if I ask a simple question....he EXPLODES!!! I can understand, but its like how he used to act when he was found guilty. It's a terrible feeling when you are terrified that the one you love might be , "loving someone else." It might actually just be my thoughts suffocating me and I can't over come them. I can't tell the difference between the signs or if that is him being him. Well Here are the wise words,"Love hurts." You never know what they may do, but you have to unconditionally love them. You either love him enough or not enough. Well, I think I might love him enough to keep him in my life, but I need to move on and get rid of the nosy habits. Scary I just said that, but at least I know and that I'm going to try. Here we go....